Swapping Backpacks for Bagpipes: Homesickness Comes in Waves..

Homesickness comes when you most expect it, like when you live across the world from your family and friends and you are in a new place, or when you miss your favorite holidays. It can wash over you when you look at pictures, or listen to music, or watch a movie you used to watch with friends. It can come in the morning, the middle of the day, or right when you are going to bed. Everyone warned me that it would be difficult to be away from my loved ones but I never imagined how hard it would be to be so far away when illness and death comes your way and I never thought homesickness would come in the month of May, 3 months before returning home.

This week has been the most trying week emotionally. It has been filled with moments of triumph, joy, spirituality, sadness, hurt, and frustration, among many other emotions. This week my mom went into the hospital twice, one of my grandfathers fell and is on crutches, and my other grandfather passed away from Alzheimer's and Kidney Cancer. I can't even explain the feelings and thoughts running through my mind when I found out my mom was in the hospital. But the one clear thought was I wish I was there. I knew I couldn't do anything to help, and I knew nothing would be different if I was in California, but every ounce of me wanted to be with my family and know that my mom was ok. The same feelings and emotions came across me when I heard about my grandpa. I know he is in peace and he is watching over the family but every ounce of me wants to be home to be with my family at this hard time.

Luckily, I was in the best possible place to hear the worst possible news. This week I was on our final retreat for our program which took place on the tiny island of Iona. The small island is 4 miles long and about 1 mile wide but it is a beautiful island with sheep, cows, a 600meter hill, and beautiful beaches. It is a peaceful place home to the Iona Community, which is an ecumenical Christian community of men and women from different walks of life and different traditions in the Christian church committed to seeking new ways of living the gospel of Jesus in today's world. The Iona Community tries its best to fight for social justice issues as a part of a faith in action rather than just practicing a comfortable Sunday worship. The Iona community has a lot of aspects and practices that are very similar to the YAV program's ideals. On Wednesday evening we took part in a commitment service and this prayer that the Iona Community wrote really stuck out to me:

Let us affirm our faith:

We believe that God is present

in the darkness before dawn

in the waiting and uncertainty

where fear and courage join hands

conflict and caring link arms

and the sun rises over barbed wire.

We believe in a with-us God

who sits down in our midst

to share our humanity.

We affirm a faith

that takes us beyond the safe place:

into action, into vulnerability

and into the streets.

We commit ourselves to work for change

and put ourselves on the line;

to bear responsibility, take risks,

live powerfully and face humiliation;

to stand with those on the edge to choose life

and be used by the spirit

for Gods new community of hope.

Amen.

Throughout this week I was able to reflect on this past year; on all the growth, the accomplishments, and the things I have learned. I have also been able to think about the ways I want to continue to grow, the ways I can still contribute over the next 2 and a bit months, and my future passions and plans. I am so blessed to be in the YAV program, to have had this opportunity, and to have been able to go to Iona during this turbulent time. It gave me a space to think. The retreat allowed me to voice my homesickness to my other YAVs and to remind myself that we have all been there, that the homesickness has come at different times for all of us, but that we support each other through everything.

I ask for prayers for my family during this time. I ask for prayers for my other YAV volunteers and the decisions we have ahead in the following months as we prepare to finish our volunteer year.

Blessings,

Julie

Here are some pictures from the retreat!