As those of you who read my blog regularly noticed, I haven't written in a while. If I am being honest this year has started out much differently than I thought it would and I wanted to write sooner, but couldn't find the words.
My transition from YAV to University of Glasgow masters student was a huge transition. Probably the hardest transition I have had in my 24 years, or at least that I remember. I thought moving to a new country 5,000 miles away from home last year would be the biggest transition, or maybe moving away from home at 18 to start University. But boy was I wrong. This year definitely is the winner. I didn't realise how difficult going home and seeing family and friends and all the familiar things would make it so difficult to come back to a place that I also hold very close to my heart. I think this transition was made more difficult with the realisation that my other YAVs were not with me anymore and that I wouldn't be doing the same work each day.
I know I signed up to go back to school, but after being out for a year and being so active: constantly running around with kids, crawling on the floor, and talking to people all day long; I forgot what it was like to sit in a classroom and listen to a lecturer for 5 hours a day, every day. It is exhausting! More exhausting than crawling around on the floor with toddlers if you can believe that. And so I freaked out. I worried that I made the wrong decision to stay here. I worried that this year would be a waste and I wished every day for many weeks that I could quit and go home.
And throughout this I was trying to process my feelings of my YAV year. I was grieving the previous year and all that I had learned. I missed my placement, I missed my roommates, I missed my schedule. I missed feeling useful and helping people every day. But by struggling through the transition I got to see which people were there for me on the phone listening to me cry, which people noticed that I wasn't myself and asked what was wrong, and which people gave me advice and encouraged me to be in the present and learn all that I can from being a student again.
I say thank you to all those people. Although every week has its ups and downs, in the end I am glad I stayed because I have learned so much about myself and what I want from my future in just these short three months. I have learned that I will definitely not be doing a PhD because classroom learning is not my style. I am a learn on the job, through hands-on experience, making mistakes kind of girl. But I never would have learned this had I not gone back to school. So I am thankful the programme is only a year long.
I have learned to rely on the communities of people that I do have here, and to force myself to make new friends even when it is more comfortable to stay home in my pyjamas. If I had stayed home I wouldn't have made as close friendships with my new international friends. My closest friends here at University are from India, Germany, Switzerland, China, and Taiwan. I have learned so much about all of their cultures, shared meals, and learned new words in different languages.
I have also learned that my faith has changed. The YAV programme allowed me to question my faith denomination, to explore a new denomination, and to actively live a faith filled life in community. It led me to be less judgemental both on myself and others and showed me that I believe in a God that loves everyone no matter who they are. We do not need labels, we just need to believe in the gospel which was Love God and Love Others. It was a simple message but with humans nothing is simple and so we complicated it and we built walls and made labels and rules and different denominations for a faith that all believe in one God. And we started hurting one another. So this past year I have learned that we could all use a little more love and kindness and the God I believe in is built on that.
The aspect of my current life that I have felt I have learned the most about is my future ambitions. I decided to do a Masters in International Business and Entrepreneurship because my dream is to open my own social enterprise and I wanted to stay in Glasgow and continue the work I was doing. The last three months I have had the pleasure of continuing my work with theGKexperience, a charity that works with vulnerable youth in Glasgow, alongside my studying. I have been voluntarily filling in for the administrator while she has been on maternity leave since May and have been given so many opportunities to learn from Alex and John, two of the staff members, about youth work, the every day workings of a charity, and the strategic decisions you have to think about as an organisation that is 5 years old and still having growing pains. It has been the best non-internship I could have asked for and has sparked more of an interest in youth work and continued to shape my interest in social enterprises and non-profits. I am so excited for the rest of the year and what is to come from my adventure with theGKexperience. I hope to connect my passion for serving others with sustainable business practices and am trying to think of what type of social enterprise I can start once my time here has ended.
I am so thankful to my friends and family for always supporting me, even in the tough times. And I am so very thankful to the YAV programme and all my other YAVs around the world for its continued support even after our year has finished. So sorry the post was so long but I finally found the words to share with you about my continued Scottish adventure. I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday Season!
Blessings,
Julie
