Am I Doing Enough....

Two days ago I was walking back from Gorbals and I saw an ambulance pull up on the street. There are no buildings where the ambulance pulled up, there is only a park. I wondered who the ambulance was going to help since I didn't see any people but I continued walking and looked into the park. I saw a man face down on the dirt near a bench in the park. My stomach sunk and I had a sick feeling. I thought he was dead and I am still not sure if he is dead or alive but my heart ached for this man. There were no other people around. I am not sure how the ambulance even found him because no one was standing waiting or them to come and it was freezing out. I watched as the paramedics flipped the limp body onto a stretcher and took him back to the ambulance.

Then I continued walking home and saw another man lying on the street attempting to eat some hot chips (fries), but he was shaking and could barely eat them because it was so cold out. And I saw maybe three other homeless people begging for money on the street. That is five homeless cold people on my 40 min walk home. And I see people like this every day when I walk to work. It started to get me thinking about my value here in Glasgow.

It got me questioning if I am doing enough, am I helping the right people. I know I cannot help everyone and I love the community I work in. I love the mums and the toddlers and I see both the parents and kids grow each week in confidence and patience. I love all the volunteers I work with and I am so appreciative of Bridging the Gap and all the work they do. They change peoples lives and I am proud to be a part of that. But when I see the homeless on the street I feel like I am not doing enough.

In service today, Ian the minister talked about christian unity, but he also talked about unity in the world. He challenged us to think about how we can be the salt of the earth and the light of the world. We should all be lights shining and filling up a room rather than lights hidden under a table. He explained that peace isn't easy and that we don't have to agree about everything but we do have to figure out how to disagree peacefully. We need to remember to be humans that love each other. Because when we are truly human, when we acknowledge our vulnerabilities, our discomforts, and our disagreements, we come into contact with the spirit of God.

So thinking about doing more I want to first start to be more human. I want to dive into my work and my community even more than I have and be human with all the people I work with. I want to be patient with the people that frustrate me, and I want to encourage the less confident to shine their lights. Each and every person I work with has strengths and they are all important people. They don't always see it in themselves so I hope I can help them to see it. I also want to strive to talk to more homeless people and find out more ways to help them, other than just giving them money.

If you are asking yourself the same questions about your life, try to be more human. Try to love your enemies, try to push yourself outside your comfort zones, try to be vulnerable and see where it takes you. See if you can see the spirit of God working in your life and in our world as a whole. I will be trying it too and would love to hear all your thoughts. And finally, I pray for the man in the park and all the homeless. If he is alive I pray that he finds help, and heals. If he has passed I pray for his family and friends, that they are comforted and know that God is with them. And I pray for the homeless as a whole, that they find refuge, shelter, love, and acceptance.

Blessings,
Julie

Thoughts to Ponder about 2015...

That first day back to work or school everyone tends to ask how your christmas was or what exciting party did you attend for New Years and although I do not mind answering those questions, I sometimes wish folks would ask me what new thoughts I have in this new year. So I will be sharing some of the crazy thoughts that have been circulating my brain this past week. 

The New Year is a time for new beginnings, a time to wipe a clean slate and start fresh, but it is also a very important time to reflect back on the past year and all we have been through. As a society we tend to be constantly looking forward, worrying about what the next hour, day, year will hold for us. We are constantly planning, or attempting to plan the next steps in our future. We want the future to be more successful than the past, we want to be better in whatever area of our life we are trying to plan for. Unfortunately because of this constant pressure of the future, we forget about the past. We forget about how far we may have come in the last year, how much we may have accomplished. We worry about the challenges ahead rather than patting ourselves on the back for the challenges we managed to overcome. 

2015 was an amazing year! Looking back on my 2015 I started the year being a second semester senior. I applied to the YAV Program and was accepted and placed in Scotland, I visited my sister in Minnesota and got to see her life as a med student. I graduated University with a business degree, I had an amazing last few weeks in Oregon with my best friends. I had the amazing opportunity to travel around Europe for 3 weeks with one of my best friends Sophie, I spent time with my wonderful family, I moved to Scotland, started volunteering for the Church of Scotland and Gorbals Parish Church, I met many new people, struggled to understand a new accent, grew in my faith, learned about the Presbyterian domination of Christianity, made new friends, spent the holidays away from my family for the first time, and then rung in the New Year in London with my parents. It was a CRAZY year! And if I really think about it, it will probably be one of the best, most memorable, exciting years of my life. 

Being a YAV now for 4 months I am reflecting back on the program and my progress. I was stuck thinking about how I can challenge myself these next 7 months and put myself in situations that are out of my comfort zone  in order to push myself. I was struggling with the idea that I don't feel extremely challenged here in Glasgow and how I feel like I might be doing something wrong. I was focused on the negative and the criticisms we all tend to give to ourselves and others around us. What I didn't realize until talking with my flatmates and having my sister convince me is that maybe my challenges have been smaller ones and I am just better at overcoming them then I ever thought and I should relish these times. 

My sister encouraged me to go through and reflect back on my first 4 months and the challenges I did have, no matter how small, and think how I did get through them. While doing this I realized that I do not give myself enough credit. Sometimes we need to appreciate ourselves and acknowledge just how great we are. So this will be the one post where I am congratulating myself for the amazing person I have come to be. I am proud of who I am and the growth I have seen in myself over the last 4 months even if I needed other people to help me see that growth in myself. I have learned that I am more independent than I thought I was. I am more resilient and can adapt to change extremely easily. I also know what I need to be happy and if I am not happy, I change whatever needs to be changed so that I will be happy. 

I would encourage all of you to think back about your 2015, what challenges did you overcome? When you look back on 2015, rather than making a list for 2016 of what you can do better, write a list of the proud moments of 2015! Take a moment and pat yourself on the back, give yourself a round of applause, or take a moment and gloat to someone who cares about you. Tell them you are proud of yourself and then let them have the same moment about themselves with you! 

Then after you have praised yourself and the people around you that you care about, make a list of hopes for 2016! Here are my hopes and resolutions for the New Year. I hope by writing them down, I can look back next January and have fulfilled all if not most of them. 

My New Years Resolutions/Hopes:

• Visit 4 more countries this year
• Get a job I love
• Try praying a novena
• learn more about the Bible and the Catholic faith
• Run a 10k

Blessings, 

Julie